Al-Fatihah. T_T

the idea of us, killing/unwilling to accept God's gift(an innocent child's life/soul) to us, kind of affects my whole mood today, up to the extent that i'm unable to concentrate for my last paper yesterday, that i chose not to be present for it this morning. i have to admit, i'm a little cranky or should i say uneasy, inside, that everything just seems not right for me today. i even yearn for something more from my boy, besides the "sudden" Pizza Hut treat, in order to cheer myself up. but, i'm pretty satisfied with the results, though reluctant to. this is just not normal. tell me, am i using him? i swear i'm not. it's just... i wonder if he could even see my pain through my eyes... 'cause if it doesn't show, he might just make a perfect guess from my slick moves/actions or even weird questions that i threw to him for answers while indulging ourselves with food/pure ambience, that indeed, something huge is bothering my mind. i hope. and sincerely, i'm sorry... it's totally all unintentional. =(((((!

my mind's all mixed-up! everything's everywhere trying to be jigsaw-puzzled and all! i need a counsellor, desperately, pleaseeeee, or i'll turn into a one god damn, sensitive bitch in the future. =X