i'm indecisive as to which appeals best to my personality, but sure enough, i'm loving my current one to bits! LMAO! personally, i think it's much more... elegant? i know it's not that big a deal to you but, it sure is to me at least. oh wells, changes just had to be made sometimes, i guess. i'll get bored easily with skins , layouts and stuffs. i wonder why... LOL! now, i'm thinking/keep mentioning about changing my blogskin again. omg`, someone pleaseeeee stop me! sadly, azri just had to be the victim of my never-ending whines and i'm sure he's pretty irritated already by now. okay, i really have to shut up, for now! =X

fine, i'm such a typical girl. i know, i know.

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right now, at this very moment, my life's ain't getting any better. there's just too many problems coming their way, disturbing my peace. right after another, and yet another and so on... i feel like as if it never stops since last year. silently, i kept wondering, why? why is these all happening to me? am i the very own cause of all these? or is it due to the fact that i deserve to be treated this way from all of the unforgiven sins that i had done thus far, being it with/without azri? sometimes i feel that Allah just doesn't love me anymore 'cause i admit, i tend to forget about Him a lot! of times. i guess it's fair though, but truthfully, i'm not at all strong to handle it all alone. thank god so much that i have azri by my side, always. i really do. but why, sometimes, You make me feel as if, it's just not the right time? that it had been one of my biggest mistakes that i should be regretful for, all this while? why? i desperately need some light and answers. honestly, it's since i met and fell in love with him that basically everything in my life goes all haywire. but, tell me, if it really is true that he isn't the right one for me... then why are You still keeping him safe with me then, and let him be my guardian up till now? why can't You just end it with a simple "Kun Fayakun!" as told? why can't You just stop all of my never-ending desires or longings for him? tell me why, please... there's just too many him-related problems that i simply just couldn't take it no more. even a simple problem could be easily associated with him and i absolutely hate it when my parents did that. i'm just so confused, very, very confused! what do you want from me, all of you, people?! i'm ultimately stressed up of my life. urgh! deep down, i know, he is the one for me, and that everything's just a test. i believe all of it will be back to normal, once we start anew, i hope. a very wise decision had to be made soon or both of us'll be doomed... for life! yes, it is indeed life-threatening. =(! enough said.

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p/s : i hate it when i had to make a wise decision about something, it gives me hurtful headaches and heart pains and whatnot. as for now, i hate my life, like really hate it to the core! X/

im`ma wait for my deary to be online, and doze my disturbed mind off to sleep soon after. rest is essential for me right now(since oreos and a cup of milk doesn't help that much). i'm a depressed girl, indeed.