i've been thinking about this lately;

well, i guess it did slighten some burden off my umi's shoulders, i supposed. i'm not even sure whether she's aware that she's still talking to me. doesn't she know that i'm so not interested, and that every bit of her words hurts me like a giant spear slashing me to death? she didn't know that i'm already dying inside(excludes the fact that, by having Azri through it all really does help to relives my soul a little). worst, it has been 18 years but, i still think she didn't really know me that much. all i need is faith, trust and at least a teeny-weeny bit of motivation from you. is that too much to ask for? instead, you chose to brag about other children's successes to me. this sucks, to the maximum, really. and i'm sorry but in this case, you suck too. urgh! i'm hating life right now.

between the lines of fear and blame.
you begin to wonder why you came.

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funny story, LOL. i've just realised that maybe, just maybe, that perhaps i've been loving/liking/crushing Azri since young(14 years old, perhaps?), i don't know. but, it might be true though. i remembered, i used to linger around the playground near his house, just to make him notice me, every Sunday, at around 2-3 PM('cause that's the time he'll be heading towards his ngaji class, if i'm not mistaken). and what luck, he remembered it too and he was like, "tapi dulu you hitam, gelap eh?" and we laugh our asses off. not forgetting, the CS-stalking-moments too. oh, those unforgettable younger years. LMAO!

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