+ PERIOD 4: Nur@zri's 3rd Year! ♥ 4: Edusave Merit Bursary($300)! 12: School Re-Opens!

+ MELODY

i still love you but, you're making me hate you.

see, if that's what you're trying to do all along, instead of trying to do things better at least for the "us" thingy, i couldn't even imagine/see why i'd even bother in the very first place. and to think that i initiate the SMS conversation between us earlier, i kept questioning myself, "sorry but, am i dating a guy or a girl exactly?" god, am i sooooo frustrated.

oh, keep testing my patience by doing the things that i don't like/want you to do. simply enough, it shows me everything. i'm the least you care about, and mind you, this is not the first and i'm pretty sure it's not going to be the last one either. if you're not ready to be in an adult relationship, then don't be in one 'cause guess what, you totally suck.

i don't want to be the one who always cares about what he'll think about my actions, and not vice-versa. i don't want to be the one who always try to make things better whenever the worst comes to worst in our relationship. i've said, "change, change, change!" a million times but you're just being ignorant about it.

if you know i hate you doing it, then don't do it. that's love. even when we were on a break, why must you immediately go back to your old ways that i despise? why, why, why? are you trying to test me or something? although we are experiencing the downs in our relationship, as a guy, don't ever give up. make it happen. why must i keep telling you this time and time again? are you that shallow?

worst comes to worst, this love might turn to hate if he's not too careful enough. well, not if he cares. goodnight.

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[/editted at: 1319hr]

he didn't even want/refuse to pick up my call this morning. now, is that a sign? i'm not even halfway there to say that i'm over my sadness yet 'cause honestly, it still lingers. see, if you don't even want to try, then don't ever dream of our future together. it's not going to happen if you don't want to make it happen. :'(

grab a hold of my heart back tightly if you really, really love me like you said, not just throw it away. you're the guy here so, act like one. change like how i want/hope you to. please, you know that i need you and i'm desperate for your actions but, i just don't see you making the effort at all. what the hell is wrong with you? do you really want me to go? once it's over, is it really over? is that what you want? :'(

it's not like i didn't try at all, and you know it. i'm so hurt inside and now, i'm afraid the love's indeed fading, just like what you want. i hope you're happy.

p/s: you gave up on me too soon.

Labels: i knew that i'm stronger